You're first lesson in Bond Girls

A lot of you are probably curious as to how I go about picking up women so easily.  The answer in 1958 was easy to teach, today it unfortunately doesn't apply as easily.

When Ian Fleming chronicled my exploits back in the 50's and 60's, the world was a different place.  Sex was just beginning to sell, but not nearly as much.  Case in point: Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol, and she was a size 12!  A size 12 nowadays would hardly be involved in any portion of the filming process, let alone be a sex symbol.  Need another example?  Betty Page was a "porn star", today she'd be on Primetime TV, and again she is size 12-14.  The first legitimate strip club didn't open until 1966, and it was all downhill from there.  Have you picked up a Maxim, or FHM lately?  Starting in the 50's, it was discovered that using attractive women in advertising and sales is an effective way to get men to put out money.  You are bombarded by images of beautiful women in very revealing poses, and it has altered your way of thinking.

Why is this a problem?  I feel that dating a woman in a magazine, is a lot more fun than looking at her. Is there anybody here that would disagree with that statement?  To attract the type of woman you want, you have eliminate some negative personality traits.  Here is your first lesson:

First and foremost, stop listening to women!  In fact do the exact opposite, disagree with everything she has to say.  Men these days blindly agree with whatever  a woman says. Stop trying to show how much you have in common with her.  It's boring, and it gets really old really quick.

Women have 2 psychological traits that you need to understand.  First, they desire conversation, so if you are agreeing with everything she says, how in the hell are you going to have a conversation that anyone would want to listen to?  Second women like people to have the same things, but that makes them prone to noticing the things that are different.  If you were to ask a woman what to wear, she would likely choose something that makes you blend in, but would be attracted to the guy that stands out.

One of the first way's I used to introduce myself to women was to walk up to a single woman in a mall, and ask what stores sell nice men's clothes.  Regardless of what they said I would disagree.  If they said Express, I would respond by saying "don't you think that would make me blend in with everyone else?"  If they said Hot Topic I would ask "Don't you think their clothes are just a little too...outrageous?", Macy's "too formal", Hollister "too Junior high", Baccarat...well Baccarat just has some nice clothes, you can't really take that away from them, but you could say "you're just saying that because I'm wearing it right now"  At that point continue the conversation, eventually you can agree if you want, but don't just give it to them, make them work for it.

You also need to get out of the clutches of marketing people.  Stop buying Axe products because you think they make women more attracted to you, instead use scentless soap, and find a good subtle designer scent that makes a woman get closer to you to smell it (think about it).  Stop reading Maxim and other similar magazines, pick up GQ or details, and look at men's style that will make women attracted to you in real life.  Stop letting the cute bartender talk you into another drink, you're going to think clearer without the alcohol, and that's more time spent not talking with women on your side of the bar.  Take all the things you buy because of cute women and eliminate them from your life and you'll start to free yourself to living the life rather than imagining it.

Bond will return!

A lifestyle that suits you

When you're wearing a suit do you ever get the comment you look good from people?  Women love a man that can wear a suit.  The problem is that a lot of people don't know how to wear it.  You need to have a suit for business meetings and events, weddings, funerals, most dates/courting, Casino's, and general nightlife.  With so many situations to sport a coat, you need to know how to wear it.

You have a lot of options; 2 or 3 button, single or double vented, single or double breasted, 2 piece or 3 piece, notched or peak lapels, Pleated and Flatfront pants, various fabric styles, and a plethora of colors/pinstripes.  Try a lot of them on and see what works for you, talk shop with the guys from JC Penny and Men's Wearhouse (they will spend a lot of time informing you if you look like you're going to buy), and account for tailoring.  The magazine GQ also recently published a guide to menswear that contains a lot of suiting information, and I recommend reading it.

One suit that every man should have in his closet is a single vented, single breasted, two button, charcoal color wool suit, with notched lapels, and pleated pants (Flat Front pants are nice for some guys, but not all guys can get away with that).  The next suit is up to you, but the best suit that I currently have is a single breasted, notch lapel, double vented, 2 button, Navy Blue pinstripe suit.  

Since line is incredibly important when it comes to a suit, you should avoid store tailors, and take it to someone that specializes in tailoring.  There is likely an old, Italian man in your area, that has been tailoring for the past 30 years.  To him it isn't a job, it's what he does, and there probably isn't anybody better at doing it than him.  All suits should be evaluated by a Tailor right after buying, and with any change in your body.  He/she may tell you that it doesn't need anything, but you should talk to them anyway, they aren't going to charge you unless they make a change, so talk to them and see what they think.  

You'll obviously wear the suit with a dress shirt, socks, dress shoes, and a tie (no tie is acceptable in a social situation).  Pick a dress shirt that makes sense to the occasion.  For example, you should leave red out of a business situation, but white might be a little uninteresting at a party.  The tie is important because it does exactly what it says, it ties the whole thing together.  If I wear a charcoal suit with a red dress shirt, the tie will contain red and black, this creates the power look.  You can wear a different color tie, but when someone looks at you they should see suit, then shirt, then tie.  Look online for directions to tie a Windsor, or half Windsor knot, those look the best on most guys, and once you do it once or twice you'll remember it forever.

You also have the option of Pocket Silk.  Don't wear pocket silk if you have a muscular upper body, it won't look right.  If you have muscular legs wear pocket silk in a point, if you have a stomach, wear pocket silk in a square.  This will draw attention off of your lower body and onto your chest.  In every instance you should coordinate with the shirt as best as possible to keep a sharp consistent power look.

Mr Bond will be back with another post soon!

Looking like a spy

People would describe me as fashionable, after all, I wouldn't be Bond otherwise.  I keep up to date on the latest trends, but I let it merge with what I think looks good.  Personality can take you a long way in life, but if you don't look the part, it's that much harder for you.  The best piece of advice I can give is to dress to the occasion, and once you do, you'll have all the young ladies going crazy.

Let's start by talking casual. First off casual is a dive bar, a coffee/tea house, a cafe, a Rock concert, or running to the grocery store.  Casual is NOT a martini bar, restaurant, nightclub, golf course, Casino (a pet peave of mine by the way), or movie/play.  In a casual situation, Jeans are your best friend, and dark blue is the way to go.  Don't go too dark, because it's harder to pair with a shirt, and light blues make you blend in.  Be smart with the shirt, wear a solid color or something abstract that makes you look mysterious.

Since you're a Bond guy, you won't be going casual too often, so life is more social for you.  Social is the martini bar, Nightclub, movies, and comedy club.  You can wear it into Dive bars as well, just make sure you have the personality to match the environment.  It's acceptable in a casino, but you should really don the suit if you know you're going to be there, and you can wear it in most restaurants as well.  Social can be worn two different ways, one more formal than the other, and both involve a dress shirt.  The less formal version of social is an untucked loose patterned dress shirt (preferably light seasonal colors), and dark blue jeans.  It's even better if the dress shirt is French cuff.  This look is really friendly to bigger guys because it's slimming, and really makes a big fashion statement.  The more formal version of the social look involves dress pants, and a dress shirt.  This should always be tucked in, and worn with dressy loafers, or monk straps.  In both instances, you can wear a sport coat, but if you do make sure the collar of your shirt is firm and won't get lost under the coat.

There are some special circumstances that you should think about.  First of all in the summer, or in tropical locations, you'll need some good beachwear.  Get yourself a good set of sandals, some white shorts for day, loose linen pants in natural or white for night, and a loose button up orange, yellow, or green short-sleeve shirt.  For Golf, wear a collared polo-style shirt, and coordinating shorts or pants.  Patterned pants are not necessary, but if you want to have fun go for it.  It's also fine to head into a bar after golf, but you're not going to get any play from the ladies if you don't shower first, and then you should just go social after that.  Again, just dress to the occasion, and you'll be fine with just about anything.

There is so much that goes into a good suit that I'll need an entire blog to go into it, so I'll be back with that soon.  Bond will be back!

A few words about life to get us started

"No matter how hard you try, you can never come back to this particular place, with these particular people, at this particular time in your life ever again, so acknowledge the moment now because it's already gone"

Let's clean that up a little bit:

"No matter how hard you try, you can never come back to this exact moment in your life again, so enjoy it while it's here".  

I came up with this quote in 1998 because I wanted to be a "great man", and all great men have quotes, so I need a quote.  I never really put any stock in it, the purpose was to fill the history books with my profound knowledge regardless of whether I believed it or not.  It wasn't until later in my college life that I started to really think about what it was about.

So what does it mean?  People tend to remember the points in their lives that had the biggest meaning, or caused the biggest change in thinking such as birthday's, holiday's, a wedding, 9/11/2001, etc.  These are the moments that imprint on us, but we are constantly in a state of change, learning new skills, developing new friendships, and rethinking our position on various subjects.  Life isn't a string of events, it is continuous and always changing, and to ignore any part of it, wish we were somewhere else, or wish time would go faster is to take meaning out of our lives and degrade us as human beings.  Recognize what is going on each day, acknowledge the people that are in your life, and live your life to fullest at all times.

Until next time,

Mr. Bond